Take off your panties!!!

Have you ever read a magazine, or heard some guy talking on some video of some sort and it sounded something like, “Yeah, it’s hard to drive around the country in a van, and skate some shitty course blah blah” you get the idea. Well boo fucking hoo you little pussies. These guys get paid to skateboard, period. Touring isn’t a new concept, people know what it entails and if someone is not up to it, don’t go. Now it’s true that most kids at demos are little bastards who want to either see Rodney Mullen or get a free bit of product, whichever may come first, but come on fuckers, you get paid! Most kids who ride skateboards spend about as much on skate equipment as someone who has a moderate cocaine habit spends on coke, so if you can’t get your pansy ass into a van for a few weeks to thank these kids for paying you, GET FUCKED! Regardless of what bullshit charades such as the Tony Hawk Skate tours make you think ,(no offense Tony)professional skateboarders are not finely tuned athletes who deserve to be waited on hand and foot. For the most part, they are dirtbags who like to party. Isn’t that what their useless tour videos have lead us to believe? Why would someone who blasts of bottle rockets in an enclosed van give a shit if they have to drive around for a few weeks in close quarters with people of the same nature? Why would people who drink themselves silly care if they are a little bit uncomfortable? These guys are not rock stars no matter how much their video part makes you think they are. They are normal people who happen to be really good at skateboarding. Basically, if they don’t like to tour, then stay the fuck in LA LA land and skate a fiberglass bench until you puke. In the meantime, realize that whether you like it or not, that zeek who just asked you to sign his faux-hawk is paying for your $60,000 car and that ipod you’re using to ignore him. Skateboarding is changing so you better give some back before you’re back to driving civics and eating hamburgers everyday.

Remeber kids, Skateboarding is EVERYTHING!!