Matsuflex in a Snuggie using Pedipaws
Time Machine Uncategorized
Instead of playing Fallout 3 for seven hours straight, I instead bring you a couple of video clips.
This is the second, better version of Jon Bunch’s part from Hurry Up and Die. The older version has been on Youtube for a few years, which was the version that was shown at the premiere. We had filmed a lot of tricks after that for the supposed DVD version that never really came to be (until Switzer was nice enough to put it on the Good Morning Milwaukee DVD), and this clip is the culmination of those efforts. Most of this stuff was filmed in 2002 or 2003 and is still a lot of my favorite skateboarding maneuvers I’ve ever filmed.
The third video clip from our San Diego friends. It appears they took some sort of road trip to Arizona and wore all white. I believe this is called “The Andrew WK”. Wearing all white, not taking a road trip to AZ. Apparently they only skated at a skatepark and a koi pond. But maybe that’s all they bothered to film. As you can see, I’m not privy to the details of this adventure.
Feeding the Kitty
Time Machine Uncategorized
Not much has been going on here besides complaining about the cold.
Pizzy’s post did make me think back to the warmer days though. Here are some pictures that remind me of less demoralizing times.
Here’s an interview with Russ about Beez.
I Was Playing Congo Bongo At Supermans House
Time Machine Uncategorized
This is the time of the year we question our sanity of living here. I would like to share with you some photos that remind me of warmer days.
Here’s a buns shot of mister buns himself T.J Bohach.
Is Matt Nordness secretly preparing himself for colder days by wearing winter apparel during a late summer five-o?
This is the 08′ beez varsity team photo.
Danny Stemper doing a kickflip wallride in a shirt that best describes his alter-ego Troy. Ballz out.
Thanks to everyone who showed up to the party a couple weeks ago. It was a fun time and Tim still has shirts for sale if you want one. They might have them at cream city. While you’re there check out the new boards and skate the best park in milwaukee.
Congratulations to the Chrome Ball Incident for reaching its 200th post. Check it out if you want to see all the classic ads and photos from days gone by. Very necessary viewing.
Masterblaster might be returning very soon, JMcguire.
Kissing: The Gateway Drug to Fuck
Time Machine Uncategorized
After a well deserved almost two year hiatus from the world of posting skatepark video clips, I today bring you yet another Cream City creation. Yes, I know, I’m sick of them too. I tried to do things a bit different though, one skater, one guest skater, all lines, no handrails. I’ll probably make a few more in this winter of our discontent, and then hopefully it will be time to be warm outside again.
Today’s video stars the illustrious Bill Kaschner, skatepark owner extraordinaire, and guest stars Tim Olson, Gary wrangler.
The wiskate 10 yr anniversary party last week was a great victorious success. A lot of people showed up including tons of our best old friends and we certainly appreciated it. Gary was celebrated many times through a video slide show I made. Pizzy was celebrated through cupcakes that Kelly baked. And of course, Popcorn was popped for the simple sake of popping popcorn.
I didn’t take many pictures at all since I was busy being the president of the A/V club. This consisted of pressing play on the dvd player to restart said Gary slide show every few minutes, and to also play 50% of the music. Steve played the other 50% from his laptop/multi ipod collection. Sometimes Russ another 50% from his records with mostly reversed labels that he brought. Steve’s friend from NY even got to add his 50% during the Moz Rock Block. I’m certain that doesn’t add up correctly, but it didn’t stop Steve from taking 100% musical credit from his adoring fan base.
I didn’t take that last one, I stole it off Milki’s Flickr. But it’s obviously the best.
Past Mistakes
Time Machine Uncategorized
2008 was definitely, by many fold, the year I’ve taken the most skateboarding photos. In fact, it hurts my feelings to think of tricks I’ve filmed in the past and how I should have taken photos of them instead. Something about photos is just a little more timeless, or maybe even makes tricks seem more “official”. I’m not sure. Maybe it’s how footage these days gets reduced into a pixelated, compressed, valueless mess for kids on youtube to watch for 12 seconds and then leave a comment calling it gay. Kind of a crappy analogy, because the same thing happens with photos and the internet, but just pretend it works.
Here, after many seconds of deliberation, are my five favorite photos I’ve taken in 2008:
I believe this was the first street photo I took in the year. You can see some snow piled in the background from that horrible, endless winter we had. I made Tim do this a million times and he got really bummed out, but it was worth it in the end.
I love this one because it basically sums up the awesome trip Russ and I took to San Diego. I barely took any skate photos on this adventure, but I’m glad this was one of them.
Another reminder of a great trip, and hey, this spot is really rad and it’s a great trick too. James always tells me that it reminds him of Russia, but it just mostly reminds me of cinnamon. Max was nice enough to do this trick a bunch of times because my flash radio was being real stoops and misfiring. Remember to carry an extra battery, my friends. The funny thing is, the right flash fired out of sync in this frame and got cut off some, but I like it much better than the others where technology worked as intended. Happy mistakes forever.
Sometimes simple tricks that wouldn’t be super exciting on video make for interesting photos. I love this one of Matt’s lipslide, check how much his board is bending.
One of the last outside photos of the year, which I didn’t even take that long ago. After all this snow and cold weather it somehow already seems like it was forever ago. My pockets on my sweatshirt are still filled with sticks from laying awkwardly in the bushes, so I guess it couldn’t have been that long ago.
In 2008 I also filmed the most since I made my video many moon ago. Instead of sitting on the footage forever and wasting 75% of it when better tricks were filmed in the nondescript future, I instead made a bunch of short video clips and posted them on the site. Would it be clever if here I made some sort of argument that’s the exact opposite of what I wrote above about photos being better than video? I’ll spare you all from that sort of ham-fisted embarrassment.
After several more moments of deliberation, I’m going to have to go with Mini Video 44 – Wouldn’t You as my favorite non stationary creation I made in 2008. I mostly feel it has some of the best skating, a great song, and of course Jeffry the horny troll. He adds so much to the experience.
Finally on a sadder note…a great friend to many people around these parts, Pat Alberts, recently passed away. Erik made a post about him on Mke which you can view here.
I Don’t Do Mondays.
Time Machine Uncategorized
It’s kind of weird how we end up becoming friends with our friends. It’s sort of a cosmic lottery that I have been winning since 1986. I have been very fortunate to have met and skated with a ton of amazing humans and have made some real solid friends in the process. One of those friends was introduced to me at my middle school when he was part of a demo put on by Rad Sports (Phase II’s older and now closed brother). Picture a scrawny kid in some hot pink short-shorts with a bleach blond flat top doing some real good early grab 360’s off a nipple high launch ramp and you have the subject of the following top 3’s. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you;
Vert Pros 1988:
-Gator
-Lance Mountain
-The Birdman
Vert Pros 2008:
-Jake Brown
-Bob Burnquist
-Juergen Whorebath (Juergen is a real person…but I think I have the spelling of Whorebath wrong…)
Street Pros 1988:
-Lance Mountain
-Mark Gonzales
-Tom Penny
Street Pros 2008:
-Nick Trepasso
-Lutzka
-Tom Penny
Reasons To Live In Kentucky:
-KFC
-Jim Beam
-The Derby
Reasons Not To Live In Kentucky:
-Bars close at 4:00 am.
-Yankee haters
-Lynchings
This mini ramp that Paul is doing a backside noseblunt on also doubles as a still for making moonshine. Bourbon county, represent! Photograph by Andy Collins.
Milwaukee Skaters Of All Time:
-Zil Beaudoin
-Marty Beaudoin
-Steve Beaudoin
Milwaukee Spots Of All Time:
-Greg’s ramp in Port Washington
-Congo Bongo
-Cream City
(“What?! He didn’t say the Turf?”)
Worst Assignments For The Mag:
-Interviewing kids that “can’t remember” how they got sponsored.
-Trying to get in touch with pros who don’t have a place to live…or a phone…or email.
-Anything where the deadline is tomorrow.
Dew Tour Perks:
-Getting paid for talking about the same things I talk about all the time anyways.
-Best seat in the house.
-All the free Dew I can drink…I mean slam.
Dew Tour Drawbacks:
-Cole, Reynolds, and Rowley don’t enter.
-Calling tricks wrong, predicting scores wrong, and getting tongue tied on national TV.
-Trying to look cool while holding a microphone.. Have thus far only managed to look like a total nerd.
Retarded Board Shapes:
-Mark Lake Nightmare.
-The Skull Skates boards that were lopsided depending on whether you were goofy or regular.
-The popsicle.
Haircuts Worn By Mark (Paul’s brother and owner of Phase II):
–Flock Of Seagulls.
–Soundgarden.
–Steven Seagal.
Things Your Dad Has Shimmed:
-My old mini ramp.
-The house
-Hell concave
Dudes To Have At A Session:
-Anyone that’s happy to be there
-People that skate
-People that don’t talk too much….so I can babble away.
Vert Slams You Took:
-August 1998. Vans Triple Crown Finals in Huntington Beach. I’d had a few beers to calm down. And in the middle of a 360 indy I was thinking “I’m ripping!”. The next thing I know I’m waking up on the flat bottom with Barry Zaritsky hovering mere inches away. He nursed me back to full conciousness by making me take increasingly difficult runs and icing my whole head down between each one. And of course he administered a piping hot moustache compress.
-Summer 2006. Boom Boom Huck Jam tour. We had to do a bunch of different doubles runs. At one of the shows I forgot my line. I thought I was supposed to do a high speed backside 5-0 under an airborne Neal Hendrix, but in reality I was supposed to be airing over him. Long story short, I did a high speed backside 5-0 directly into Neal’s high-speed frontside 5-0, sending both of us into backward summersaults to flat and bringing the show to a screeching halt. Thankfully no one was killed.
-Fall 2006. I hadn’t made the finals in a vert contest in a long time so I went to see a hypnotherapist before the last Dew Tour stop of the year in Orlando. The first run in practice I was thinking, “I going to win this thing easily. Bucky ain’t got nuthin!!” After five minutes I tried a kickflip indy back d. and landed unexpectedly in a noseblunt. I immediately did a double chimp flip to flat, landing on my left shoulder. The medic checked me out and said, “Your shoulder is separated. It’s going to hurt, but you can keep skating.” So that’s what I did for the next three days. Two weeks later, still unable to lift my arm up, I went to the hospital and learned I’d separated my shoulder AND broken my collarbone. Boo hoo.
Here is Paul and Neal Hendrix caught in a rare moment when somehow not running into each other during the Boom Boom Huck Jam tour. Photograph by Tony Hawk’s 3rd or 4th wife.
Vert Slams You Have Seen:
-You remember when Brian Schaeffer tried the loop? That was a bad slam, but two minutes before that Peter Hewitt tried it switch and did the exact same thing. His tougue was hanging out of his mouth when they scraped him up and wheeled him into the ambulance still snoring. It was so bad I left the scene and missed Schaeffer’s triple lindy. Wait, does the loop count as vert?
-Every day that I skated with Mike Frazier over an 8 year period. Slam, slam, slam, slam, slam, slam, slam. He’s had 13 or 14 knee surgeries. He’s broken his back…twice. He’s been knocked unconcious more times than he could ever hope to remember, or forget. Broken wrists, disclocated ankles, multiple shoulder reconstructions, etc. etc. He should get a Purple Heart.
-Bill Weiss trying a padless 540 while holding a boom box on his shoulder. Slid out and slammed and the thing exploded. Batteries rolling all over the ramp. Probably had to be there.
Dirtiest Diapers
-Top three? How about top million.
Skate Videos:
-Lakai
-101 Snuff
-Plan B Questionable.
What range! What scope!
When not changing diapers, chasing down elusive interviews of homeless trolls for the “Mag” or talking about the consistency of Chaz Ortiz, Paul might actually get a chance to huck jam himself off a loading dock into a rough little bank. Another lovely photo courtesy of Andy Collins.
Skateboard Trends:
-I liked the one where people were too cool to skate.
-I also liked matching the wheels to the lapper, rails, short ribs, copers, nose guard, tail skid, rip grip, etc.
-Street Skating
Reasons To Stay Away From Milwaukee:
-Geoffery Dahmer’s ghost.
-The “lake effect.”
-You have to drive through Chicago to get there from here.
Swear Words You Wont Say:
I’ll say them all…I just don’t like typing them.
Reasons To Have A Rebel Flag In The Background Of A Video Part:
-Your board sales will blow up in Tennessee.
-Set yourself apart from the crowd.
-So people forget how bad your part was but always remember you’re a rebel.
John McGuire Quotes:
-“I don’t do goodbye’s. I do hello’s”
-“Don’t talk to me about your dreams, or how much gas costs, or what you’ve eaten recently.”
-“I don’t understand grabbing.” (In response to why he doesn’t care too much for vert skating)
Names For Chip Van Ham :
-Chip Jean Claude Van Ham
-Chippendale Vanana Hammock
-Morceau Fourgon Jambon (Chip’s French Doppelganger)
Bonus Name: Moons Over My Chip Van Hammy
Thanks, Paul.
Later nerds.
I Don’t Want Garbage, I Want Sparkles!
Time Machine Uncategorized
Jesus was born 4 minutes ago.
As you already know, Wiskate.com is now a whopping ten years old. A lot has changed since its inception and I am proud to have been a part of it. So proud in fact, that I went and spent a whole bunch of money I don’t have to make these shirts;
If you are old enough, you can come to the Cactus Club on Monday and buy one of them for a measly 15 dollars. If you can’t make it on Monday, just get a hold of me somehow and I can sell you one via internet or at Cream City. All proceeds go to me and my insatiable lust for Werthers hard candy. Here’s the flier for the party one more time to get you hyped.
Josh and Steve Green will be playing records, Roebke might be making popcorn and Pizzy will be topless and horny.
Couple of real solid dudes right there. Come say hi to them on Monday.
I know it’s a little late, but if by some chance any of you want to surprise me with a belated Christmas gift, I would really like the DVD this is taken from.
Not only would I love it, but I know someone else that would appreciate it too;
Merry Christmas, nerds.
Slanket Vs. Snuggie
Time Machine Uncategorized
It’s a Christmas Miracle!
A new mini video from our friends in San Diego. Happy birthday Santa!
The Toyota Sienna is a family minivan currently manufactured in the United States by the Japanese automaker Toyota for the North American market only, and shares its platform with the Toyota Camry. The Sienna replaced the first generation Toyota Previa van in 1998 befitting as a more conventional front wheel drive layout, and was last updated in 2004 as a larger model. It is also used as a Taxi in New York City, like Ford’s Crown Victoria.
Ask Me About My Zune
Time Machine Uncategorized
It’s not even Christmas yet, and I’ve caught myself quite the case of cabin fever. It’s so bad that I’m seriously considering taking my annual visit to the room quite early in the season. That tasty realm of dust and bum piss seems heavenly compared to spending more hours staring into a glowing box featuring Bear Grylls. He did just swim nude in a hole in the ice in Siberia, and Wisconsin much resembles Siberia at this point. That means I do feel a connection with him and his unnecessary extreme experiences, but I’m afraid it just isn’t enough to hold my attention anymore.
Here’s a couple photos from Cream City the other night:
Tj Bohach – Switch Backside Tailslide.
Bill Kaschner – Nollie Backside Lipslide.
At least Molly has something to do today.
And of course, don’t forget to watch brand new Mini Video 51, which I put up just yesterday.